Thousand Reasons Thursdays - Journal Entry #21
And the roller coaster ride gets bumpier! You finally came home on 9/20/99 in an ambulance. It was totally chaotic, but still very exciting! You were just settling in when you started acting funny. You were only home 6 days & you were back to the hospital! We called a non-emergency ambulance, you were stabilized at North Bay ER & then ambulanced down to CPMC. It turned out you had gastrointeritis (bad diarrhea!) & you stayed about 5 days. Then, we only had 2 days home & had a really bad bronchospasm (desat to 36!!!) & we called 911 this time. They bagged you all the way tot the ER at North Bay. By the time we all got there, you were stable, but still very upset. Both times they gave you massive doses of steroids which seemed to help tremendously. Then you got a helicopter ride to the City!!! I personally had a great time, but you, needless to say, were still pretty upset. You had pneumonia again & had to stay for a 14-day course of antibiotics. We thought we'd take you home this Monday, but you were acting funny. You had a slightly collapsed lung on the left side. They watched you for 2 days to see if you were brewing a cold or the Atrovant dried you out, but they sent you home yesterday - and so here we are!!
I've always been known for my stubbornness and perseverance in pursuit of what I want. These qualities, matched up with determination, are useless when going against God's will. These traits helped me not give up on my son, my marriage, and my faith through this trial, but they were also getting in the way of glorifying God when it came to my laser-sharp focus of just wanting him home. Looking back, I can now see where He was lovingly showing me that I needed to seek HIS will, so that I could draw close to Him, in order for Him to teach me about Himself and submit to His will. His will is always best for all parties involved. What was happening was so much more than what I knew or what I could see. His plan is greater and spans from eternity past to eternity future and He allows us, as believers, to play a tiny role in it. Our job is to bring Him glory while doing it.